STYLE MISHAPS. Read and Learn from this Ladies.

Caroline 

Went out with a guy, and two of the straps on one of my heels snapped off. I had to take of my shoes and walk bare feet to my cab, at the end of the night.

Modupeola 

I’m a double d cup, and the strap of my bra popped once, when I went out. It wasn’t the greatest bra and I had to use my arms to prop up the fallen boob through out the day.

Feyikemi

I wore a skater skirt to go visit my brother at St.Gregory’s- it’s an all boys boarding school. My skirt got blown all the way up, apart from the fact that that was inappropriate for a group of teenage boys to see, my underwear was inappropriate for any one at all to see. I got snickers and side eyes from kids and parents the whole day.

Chinwe 

Wore an all white outfit to go see a friend, I got splashed with muddy water by a car and had to come home like that. I could feel every passerby looking at me like oni doti.

Ralunna 

I went for an interview in a too tight skirt I convinced myself was ‘smart,’ then I got a small rip underneath the zip that kept getting bigger as I waited for my turn. Walking into the interview was no problem, but I tried to back out of the room instead of turning to leave, I ended up tripping and falling.

Chidinma 

I wore a strapless dress to a party without a bra, had a little too much to drink and ended up flashing everyone at the party.

These Guys Share Their Life Experiences. Read on.

The gas was on and I was playing with matches… I can’t remember the level of beating I got. Another time, I left the window open and rain entered my daddy’s room. It didn’t end well that night. – Hammed

When I was about 5 or so, I remember my mum giving me everything I asked for. So one day, while she was at her shop, I asked for 20 naira because I wanted to go buy sweets of course. She refused to give me, but there she was counting money and saying she’d didn’t have. So while she stepped out, I sneaked and took 20 naira from where she kept. Mehn, the beating that day was not very funny. – Sam

One day I was supposed to be in class at school but I thought it was a great idea to go play ball instead. My parents and teachers gave me a memorable beating, clearly the reason you know this now. I was that stubborn child. – Dotun

Ah. It had to be shopping at Kingsway. Then dining at Ogun state hotel and watching my dad swim after. Sounds normal but it’s one of those things that were special to me because it happened only once in while. – Deola

I have none. I blocked them all out. – Ife

 

Mehn. The friends I grew up with. The banter we had. The games we played. The adventures and secrets we shared. We were little rascals. We staged plays for our parents. We stole from stores just for the thrill. It was wild. – Eki

I enjoyed driving with my dad. Especially the way he’d make me feel like I was the one actually driving. I’d sit on the driver’s seat. Rest on him, then hold the steering like I was actually controlling it. Then I grew older and found out you need to be doing something with your leg to actually be driving. – Emeka

One of those times my lil bro would have overfed himself and would use the happiness to dance to radio commercials. He would be looking at his reflection on the tv screen. There was no electricity and in candle light he would be dancing and sturvvs. – Oshomah

I always felt like an adult as a child. I wanted to adult so bad. So one day, in primary 1. I was over 5 years old. I decided to walk home myself. That involved walking under Ojuelegba bridge. I got home and felt I had made momma proud. Meanwhile, she was in school looking for me. When she finally got home, I though I was going to be greeted by a proud mum. Damn, I still remember the beating till this day. – Lekan

Someone just sued God. No, for real!

Yep. This is not a joke.
Someone did file a restraining order against the Almighty God.


But that’s not even the worst part. It was filed by someone who, according to the Bible, is one of God’s children.


The plaintiff, David Shoshan, appeared before a Haifa Magistrate Court last Tuesday demanding that God stop interfering in his life.


Shoshan said he had filed uncountable number of reports to the police department, but they only answered him like 10 times.

When he got tired of going to the Israeli police, he came to court to get justice.


A Nigerian Judge would have given this type of reply.


But the presiding Judge, Ahsan Canaan simple threw out the case. Because life can be spent doing less absurd things.
As to whether or not God showed up in court to defend Himself, that is up for debate.
On one angle, he wasn’t there in person. On the other angle, since God is believed to be Omnipresent, was He actually there throughout the court session? And was he there to defend Himself or was He there as Judge? If He was there at Judge, does that mean the presiding Judge was just wasting his time there?


Questions, questions, questions.

source: partyjollof.com

AUCH!!!! He doesn't love her anymore after taking her kidney!

This is not a joking sturv.
Someone is asking for your advice. He told NGTrends;

I am 32 years old and my girlfriend is 31 years old. We’ve been together for 5 years and now live together in a nice house.

Things have been slowly fizzling out and I’ve been feeling like we don’t belong together for a few months now. I feel like if I don’t make a decision soon we will be married and I will feel this way forever.

But on the other hand, getting a kidney transplant has changed my life for the better in so many ways. I feel like staying together is the right thing to do even if I’m not in love anymore. I’ll never be able to pay her back.

I’m so torn and conflicted and feel like I have to make an impossible choice.

If I stay with her, I’ll always feel trapped and in a loveless relationship. If I break up with her, I’ll forever feel like an evil person for dumping someone who literally put their life on the line for me.

He probably wasn’t ready for what Twitter had to say.

First, we need to understand that kidney is not a small thing.

And that love and NGO are not the same thing.

Dude, drop that kidney.

5 guys tell us some of their craziest moments in school

You read from the ladies now the guys. Cred: partyjollof.com
Schools in Nigeria is everything from manual labour to punishments, and first love. These guys are telling us some of their craziest moments.

When the fence jumping goes spiritual. – Oshomah
Here is one.  Been jumping fence to scale morning labour at my hostel everyday (everyday for the thief).

That’s how one day when I was about jumping very early, I started receiving slaps from no where (one day for the owner). At first I thought it was an evil spirit because I never expected it, but when the slaps continued it became very clear who it was.

The house prefect was using my face for table tennis practice. I spent the whole day serving all manners of punishment and being flogged with cutlass and planks from any visiting senior (and the prefect had a lot of friends) while my mates were playing throughout because it was the period after exams when there was nothing to do in school.

The Al-Capone of exam dubs. – Toye
Started an underground exam questions dealing ring with my best friend after the office assistant developed a peverted crush on her. She promised him after exams so he kept feeding us with exam question drafts. We would go to another friend’s mother’s shop to photocopy and redistribute to other students before the day of the exams with solutions. Everything went well. We expanded the business and got more smart hands involved. Until one idiot came into the exam hall with both the exam question draft photocopy and the solutions we had our handwriting on. She was caught and the rest is history. Long story short we nearly died.


Where the puff puff love began. – Steve
My first crush ever. She agreed we go to the toilet together. And she had quite very big boobs.  I pressed and squeezed… It must have been a big puff puff. Because now I love puff puff so much.

Everyday for the thief. – Edwin
When I was in JS3, we jumped the fence two weeks before exams started to go eat mangoes at a sugar cane farm. The mango trees were planted to create shade for the irrigated farms and everyone was allowed to pluck and eat the fruit but forbidden from stealing sugarcane. One of our friends decided to steal several sugar canes while we were on the trees, not just any one, the juiciest ones, and the farmer spotted him and called his sons to catch us. They pulled out cutlasses and gave us the longest chase of my life. They chased us for one hour straight, at some point I contemplated jumping into a lake that separated the farm from River Kaduna, my school was on the other side, even though I couldn’t swim then. Eventually we finally out ran them.

Between the devil and the deep blue sea. – Lekan
I was scaling labour hiding in a very tiny store. Then a little snake just crawled into where I was hiding, and my God, I think I’d stay with a lion instead of a snake. I hate snakes. But just as I was about to take off, I peeped and saw our labour prefect patrolling. Boy, I told myself, boy, if you get bitten, you’ll scream for help and get rushed to the sickbay and it will be over with. But if the Labour Prefect gets you, its over mehn. You’re dead. So the snake understood my condition and left me.

First crush, porn, gay sex,…5 women share their craziest school stories (Partyjollof.com)

Brace yourselves people
Has to be breaking into the kitchen one night to steal food, we really took bread and eggs and yams. Stuff for breakfast the next morning sha. I was the dining hall prefect and the matrons called us the next morning to ask if we saw anything, had to unlook.

Lights go out at 10pm, we waited till midnight, armed with stuff to cut through the net and remove louvres.

There was a shortage the next morning, even as we fed fat.

Friends for life – Nneka

Cooking with my friends and almost getting caught. Someone snitched and my day student friend was caught with the spaghetti and condiments at the gate. My friends weaved a lie that involved the day student’s mother.
The woman came to school and lied for us and said she was the one that sent her daughter to buy spaghetti. The principal then asked how come there was only one Maggi and half pack of matches.

The woman sha left us to our fate at that point because she said she didn’t know how. Then the day student said she had to bring us into the wahala because she was gonna face the disciplinary committee. One of my friends decided to face the disciplinary committee on behalf of the rest of us because my mum was an executive in the PTA and our other friend had really old parents. At the end of the day, my friend said she decided to buy the Maggi for Food and Nutrition practical. Then they gave her one large grass portion to cut. All of us cut it together.

Long story short, they did not de-board me.

When the crush dreams get crushed – Anu

Went for Saturday lesson one time like that wearing my sister’s jeans. They were super tight but I didn’t care, I wanted to impress my crush.

All was well during the lesson. However, on my way home, just outside the school gate, I fell. And my jeans tore.

Even worse? I looked up and saw my crush pointing and laughing.

My sister didn’t even know I left the house in her jeans.
Double wahala.

Senior don’t teach me nonsense – Cece

I was ill in school. It started after dinner and I was immediately dispatched to the dispensary. By the time they were done giving me drugs and stuff it was already prep time.
The person with me told the house captain so that she could open the hostel for me to rest. I can’t remember all the details because I was really sick and my eyes were closed. When I lay down, she put my hair in my check and started touching me. And she was smiling like a fucking creep all the while. I was really drowsy but I finally turned over and she left me. The weirdest thing was I think there was someone else with her but I don’t know if she knew anything happened.

What in God’s earth is mojo? – Lara

It was in JSS3, I was about 11 or 12 – I genuinely cannot recall. Our school had just built this amazing computer lab for the students and it had a massive projector. My classmates and I were really excited about the projector; many of us were just seeing one for the first time.

We had a free period once and decided to test out the projector on our own, Faruk suggested watching ‘mojo’. I had no idea Mojo was a slang for porn back then, so I kept on bugging Faruk to tell me what it was. “Faruk, what is Mojo? Faruk show me Mojo now.”

Even after the period, I was desperate to know what it was and why he was so excited about the class projecting it. He’d be with friends and I’d casually shout “Faruk, when are we watching mojo now?” All his guys would laugh. Once, he was with a senior and I screamed “Faruk, you said you will show me mojo!”

The following week he got super pissed that I was bugging him to watch mojo and finally said he’d show me (probably to shut me up). I was so excited when he pulled out his laptop, I remember saying, “Yes, finally we are going to see mojo.” He pressed play and I got the shock of my life, it was my first time watching porn too.

I think I cried. He still calls me mojo.

First crush, porn, gay sex,…5 women share their craziest school stories (Partyjollof.com)

Brace yourselves people
Has to be breaking into the kitchen one night to steal food, we really took bread and eggs and yams. Stuff for breakfast the next morning sha. I was the dining hall prefect and the matrons called us the next morning to ask if we saw anything, had to unlook.

Lights go out at 10pm, we waited till midnight, armed with stuff to cut through the net and remove louvres.

There was a shortage the next morning, even as we fed fat.

Friends for life – Nneka

Cooking with my friends and almost getting caught. Someone snitched and my day student friend was caught with the spaghetti and condiments at the gate. My friends weaved a lie that involved the day student’s mother.
The woman came to school and lied for us and said she was the one that sent her daughter to buy spaghetti. The principal then asked how come there was only one Maggi and half pack of matches.

The woman sha left us to our fate at that point because she said she didn’t know how. Then the day student said she had to bring us into the wahala because she was gonna face the disciplinary committee. One of my friends decided to face the disciplinary committee on behalf of the rest of us because my mum was an executive in the PTA and our other friend had really old parents. At the end of the day, my friend said she decided to buy the Maggi for Food and Nutrition practical. Then they gave her one large grass portion to cut. All of us cut it together.

Long story short, they did not de-board me.

When the crush dreams get crushed – Anu

Went for Saturday lesson one time like that wearing my sister’s jeans. They were super tight but I didn’t care, I wanted to impress my crush.

All was well during the lesson. However, on my way home, just outside the school gate, I fell. And my jeans tore.

Even worse? I looked up and saw my crush pointing and laughing.

My sister didn’t even know I left the house in her jeans.
Double wahala.

Senior don’t teach me nonsense – Cece

I was ill in school. It started after dinner and I was immediately dispatched to the dispensary. By the time they were done giving me drugs and stuff it was already prep time.
The person with me told the house captain so that she could open the hostel for me to rest. I can’t remember all the details because I was really sick and my eyes were closed. When I lay down, she put my hair in my check and started touching me. And she was smiling like a fucking creep all the while. I was really drowsy but I finally turned over and she left me. The weirdest thing was I think there was someone else with her but I don’t know if she knew anything happened.

What in God’s earth is mojo? – Lara

It was in JSS3, I was about 11 or 12 – I genuinely cannot recall. Our school had just built this amazing computer lab for the students and it had a massive projector. My classmates and I were really excited about the projector; many of us were just seeing one for the first time.

We had a free period once and decided to test out the projector on our own, Faruk suggested watching ‘mojo’. I had no idea Mojo was a slang for porn back then, so I kept on bugging Faruk to tell me what it was. “Faruk, what is Mojo? Faruk show me Mojo now.”

Even after the period, I was desperate to know what it was and why he was so excited about the class projecting it. He’d be with friends and I’d casually shout “Faruk, when are we watching mojo now?” All his guys would laugh. Once, he was with a senior and I screamed “Faruk, you said you will show me mojo!”

The following week he got super pissed that I was bugging him to watch mojo and finally said he’d show me (probably to shut me up). I was so excited when he pulled out his laptop, I remember saying, “Yes, finally we are going to see mojo.” He pressed play and I got the shock of my life, it was my first time watching porn too.

I think I cried. He still calls me mojo.